Friday, July 6, 2012

Life Changing Experience


Lately, I have been thinking about delivering speech at my sister’s wedding. I had always thought that this event would set the paradigm for upcoming generations. I wanted everyone to remember this august wedding not because this was the wedding of the world’s best sister but because it was my sister’s wedding. Because this time it was about my self-esteem. This was not about her big day, but it was about me. Any awry act would shake my dignity, and obviously I cannot stand that.
I had always taken my selfish acts as generous acts. Somewhere inside I use to pacify my heart by consoling it, and my soft -tender heart used to count on my absurd logics. My sixth-sense would warn me before being selfish, but then my false assurance would overcome it. I didn’t realize it until this summer; which changed my perception about everything.
I went to my distant-relative’s wedding. It was not as amusing as I thought except that the music was something which kept me entertained. The bride and groom were seated on the stage: situated right at the center of the ballroom. Right beside the stage was the rostrum.  The opening of the speech was done by reciting Quran-ic verses. Bride’s sister and brother acknowledged the guests for joining their happiness. Then came the blood relation that was suffering from the amiable condition; one that couldn’t fully enjoy their happiness because their daughter was going to leave them forever. The father came on micro-phone first. His speech was the life-changing experience.
He was in black suit with white shirt and black tie knotted on it. He looked old with his white beard but he was looking the bride’s father, handsome. Anyone could look into his eyes and tell how much he wanted to re-live all those lovely moments they had spent together. But he had to stop himself in fact he stopped himself but he couldn’t help his eyes telling everything he wanted to tell.
This was her daughter’s wedding, a big day for him. If I would had to give a speech on such an auspicious day I would not let the crowd know my weaknesses, but I would point out my strengths. Because this would have been about me, my dignity. But I salute this person who had that much courage to speak the truth in front of all his guests, who might not know what he is in reality. He confronted the public in Urdu, despite of the fact that all of the speakers used English. He used Urdu not because it was his mother tongue but because he didn’t know how to speak English properly. I guess he didn’t want to spoil his daughter’s day by speaking crumbled English. This is not a big deal I know, but accepting the fact that he never worked in United States of America because of his broken English was a big deal. Accepting that he can’t speak English was a big deal.  I cannot accept this in front of this big crowd. I could have never done that. I don’t have that much confidence. I never had and I never will. But still I pray to God to give me enough confidence to accept my weaknesses. 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

GOD..


Whenever I used to be with my affluent friends, I always thought he is Biased. Unfair. Tyrant. An incompetent ruler. Only those born to the purple has right of all the blessings bestowed by him? Is wealth is everything which ONLY matters to him? Do they have the authority to be content all their life? Sorrows are only written in our fate? Are their scribble problems legible to him and our heartbroken expressions meaningless to him? They had everything they wanted and we had everything he wanted.Thanks to God.
Every other un-extra ordinary person thinks this way. I bet they do.Money doesn't makes us un-extraordinary this is our filthy thoughts due to which we are given the title "Ordinary". This is not God who is Biased, unfair. It is our heretical thoughts that make us crook, prejudice.
Now, living in this phase of life where I can discren reality from my opinions whenever I look back i feel guilty.I feel like being Impsioned for my unfair judgement. This is so not God. He is someone beyond our imagination.
We look world from our naked eyes. We see only what we want to see. We only find reasons for being angry with God. Do we ever try to see unnumerous reasons for being gratefull to him?
We don't have to go far to find one. Your house for you is a small shack ; it is heaven for a homeless, Your comfortable bed is unfit for your body ; it is better then the bed of rocks for a vagrant, your handful pocket money is un-sufficient for you ; it is tantamont to an years expense of a destitude,Your feast is not upto your standard; it is from afterworld for a ravenous creature, Your mother, always guiding to you to the right way, is a nosy in your view; she is  a teacher for all the outcast on the road, Your father, striving hard to get you everything before you ask him for, is not a good source of money ; he is the best pa for the orphans roaming on streets, Your grandparents are living corpse for you ; they are the most valued relation for people deprived of this blessing. Aren't these reasons enough for you to bend before God? Don't you have enough reasons to be in debted to him?
I am deeply in debted to you for being always there with me. I cannot verbalise my gratitude for you. Thank you GOD! Thank you for everything <3